my life in all its randomness...

Beets, Beets, Beets

2011-10-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

Purple or golden
All sorts- with greens on top
every time I see a bunch
want to take them home for lunch
unfortunately,
the family
doesn't agree
with this homily.

Thoughts on days off

2011-10-25T11:33:00.001-07:00

We just went on a family vacation, tagged on to work travel for dear husband. In the past traveling tagalong with him has not been fun. As a full time worker,living with the children all the hours of the day in somewhat unpredictable circumstances (due to travel) can lead to a lot of angst in me. Recently, things have been way better as I expect things to go wrong and lead the kids with a long leash, metaphorically speaking. I also expect way less from DH as the trips where we go tagalong are work trips for him.
I have been dying to go to Yosemite National Park and it was wonderful to go visit, what was less wonderful was the inability of the children, especially the younger one to hike. He would sit down in the parking lot, bawling out his resentment. Boy, that drove me crazy. I did manage to get some enjoyment from the trip- at least I saw the waterfall, El Capitan and Half Dome but I cannot wait to go back again, preferably on my own so that I can visit calmly on my own terms and with my own agenda.

Work-life balance and Medicine

2011-06-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

I think my life is good,in terms of work satisfaction. The new work hour rules for residents may threaten that. I have been thinking about how I am going to manage 12hour shifts with the demands of my children's needs. Will my spouse be able to deal with their needs? They are after all his children,too.
I mentored two students who wanted to go into medicine and both of them were burning with questions regarding how I balance the demands of family with my work. I was somewhat surprised by their concerns as before my children, the thought of not being at work did not cross my mind. I loved what I did, and still do. Why is that the current generation is so obsessed with lifestyle? You first need to figure your life and the lifestyle will follow. Your work should make you jump out of bed ready to face the new day ahead with anticipation.
Let's see if I can cope with work inspite of these changes and maybe, come out stronger.

Writing Block and Bossypants

2011-06-26T13:22:00.000-07:00

Been such a long time since I last wrote here.Think about writing all the time,life and my habit of procrastination intervenes.I read a lot and fancy myself as a writer, so it's really not good for my psyche to be quiet on paper and I admit there is a certain hubris to seeing your own words on the screen and thanks to the web all of us seem to have a voice.
Just read Bossypants by Tina Fey. The book apart from being funny(could not expect any less from her) has a real feel of her life so far. As a mother, I identify with her advice of hiding in the bathroom(been there, done that)and with the angst of deciding when to have children. I really enjoy her unabashed enjoyment of her job, she keeps calling it the best job in the world and even though I am not a comedy writer(except in my best dreams),I identify with her passion for her work.I loved finding feminism in the anecdotes that she chooses to tell and most importantly that the book is not a tell-all.A must read.As my husband says, he wishes that Sarah Palin would run for president so that he could see Tina Fey acting as Ms.Palin on SNL. Second that.

"Are you dying?"

2010-05-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

My office is cold. Cold enough that I wear a jacket at work and have given up on the white coat. I have tried to get the temperature raised but have given up. My patients do not want to get undressed and today one of my patients asked me as I felt for neck lymph nodes- "Are you dying?" I answered "Of course, I am. Aren't we all? Some quicker than others." He smiled as he told me that my cold hands are not quite compatible with life.
This reminded me of another time when one of patients insisted that I could not be a healer- "A healer does not have cold hands". Luckily, I know many of my patients would disagree. Although, a healer is not how I would classify myself.

Death Valley- A drive-through weekend

2010-02-22T12:16:00.000-08:00

Death Valley happens to be the largest National Park outside of Alaska and a weekend simply does not do it justice; but a weekend we had- so we piled up the kids, ourselves, assorted snacks into our dinky car and hit the road. We tried to visit a part of the southern end of the park.We drove through most of the park but we did do a few beginner's hikes. We were hamstrung by having to carry a child on our back, as the picture indicates.

Luckily, we had chosen a relatively cool time to go- we even found some ice and made the smallest snowman ever.
The first evening we were there, we hiked a little off the main road to look up to old gullies on the hillside and trudge over spongy waterladen sand. It was a no pressure hike limited only by the approaching sunset, like the novices that we are, we had not packed a flashlight with us.

The next morning after a carb laden breakfast we drove all the way to the actual park with the first stop being at the Emigrant pass. Here is a a much more professional view of all the amazing geology of it all.http://www.teachersdomain.org/asset/etv08_vid_etvgeology/

Our most challenging hike has to be at the Zabriskie Point where we had to go down to the old river beds to get a better view of the rock formations and the river bed. The children complained but drag them down we did. We were rewarded by otherworldly sights. Our next stop was the badlands area which happens to be the lowest point in the western hemisphere. There has been recent rainfall which has lead to this area being wetter than usual

Inspiration

2010-02-06T22:53:00.000-08:00

We were very lucky to have grand rounds by Faith Fitzgerald who was a great speaker and kept us very engaged with her magical medical mystery tour. Later on as we talked, I was extremely taken with her charm, authenticity and her love for the practice of medicine. It is so rare to find an Internist who retains their love of medicine and the patients who come to them.
One thing she said really resonated with me- I am paraphrasing but she said something like, if a hungry man goes to a grocery store and asks for food because he is hungry and the manager refuses to give him any, nobody bats an eyelid- the man runs a business and a business cannot be giving away its goods. Similarly, if a homeless man goes to a builder and insists that he be given shelter, nobody feels that he ought to be given a house. However, if a sick person goes to seek succor to a hospital and he does not get care, all of us are mortified and feel ashamed somehow.
This is why medicine cannot be a business.

Journey back

2010-01-16T17:28:00.000-08:00

I returned about a fortnight ago from Kolkata, where I grew up, went to medical school and where my family of origin still lives. It was a difficult trip home, with two kids and a husband in tow, revisiting after the death of my father from complications related to diabetes, while he was only 64. Like most children, I have things that I feel guilty about- not keeping in touch, not being there for my family and feeling that now, I will never get a second chance for a do-over. It was so good to be home, hold my mother who feels so alone now, and talk to my brothers who had to do all the work and go through all the stress of having to take care of a seriously sick parent. Apart from spending time with my family, I enjoyed walking the crowded streets, teeming with people. I drank tea in an earthen ware container, called a 'bhar'; went on a local train, on a ferry, visited Belur Math and Dakhineshwar. Went on a road trip to Gangasagar with the children to say goodbye to my father. My kids, brown and American were freaked out by the crowds and the begging naked children and the younger one who is two, bawled out "Never, ever, ever again".I took this to mean, he was not enjoying the ferry ride.
Inspite of all this and maybe even because of this,it is always good to go back home, especially when you can go back to your usual life soon enough. Calcutta has amazing energy, the streets are crowded, people are milling about, there is no sense of personal space; people jump ahead of you in queue all the time- and so would I if I were there all the time.I went to College Street Coffee House; I visited our 77th medical school reunion, a school that my father also went to. I dragged our kids everywhere. I wonder what my children think of India- I know that they are interested in the language and the music which is great, but what else do they learn? I will find out soon. Hopefully, I will be listening.

Defining moment for our generation

2009-09-11T16:23:00.000-07:00

On the anniversary of 9/11, I thought about where I was when the towers fell and it came as if it happened yesterday- I was in clinic as a resident, and it just did not make sense why something like that happened or why it happened. Later, much later that night we went to the local Wendy's because we were just not able to think straight and looked at the people around and wondered what had gone wrong.
I am so glad today is a national day of service what a great way to remember....

I know exactly what he is talking about...

2009-09-07T21:11:00.000-07:00

I was just browsing websites today when I came across this article and it really nails the problems with pain mangement. I think, pain management is very challenging and sometimes, I do not get things right- between expectations of patients, limits of the pharmacy coverage and my own biases/ thoughts regarding diagnoses. This gave me permission to say that I am not always going to achieve great pain control for every body that I see with chronic pain. I feel ready to manage therapeutic expectations of both my patients and myself.

Early Monday morning...

2009-09-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

I really should be getting to bed- Labor day tomorrow, the kids are at home, I have to be at work, try to keep the apples in the air...but whatever, I am so glad, and greatful that I have a job where I can, and do make a difference, where I am forever learning. Later on today, I will be pleased to be at the hospital and "laboring" on Labor day.
Power to all the working people- the world depends on us!

How to be a part of a community

2009-08-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

I recently went to the summer session of ACP at SFO. I have not been to a medical meeting in the past three years, so I really wanted to find out if there is any benefit to going to one of these meetings and as of now, it seems there is a benefit at least to me. I thought medicine through out the two days. For every one of the sessions, even the one on pneumonia ( surprise, surprise) I learnt something. For each of the sessions, I could relate the information to one of my patients.
The other benefit was meeting folks who practice all over, one of my new friends was a lady who is the only internist in her town in Minnesota, her scope of practice is much broader than mine but her problems are similar to mine. It was good to know that I am not alone.
I am so pumped to learn more, practice better and be more enthusiastic in my career choice. As an additional benefit, I met up with an old high school friend that I have not met in over two decades.

My cure for the Healthcare problem

2009-08-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

Take profit away from the practice of medicine- it is absolutely unethical to make money off of sick people, I can understand making a living out of caring for people but profit- that is the real crux of the problem.
For a more balanced approach check this out.

My CD, my remote.....

2009-07-13T22:03:00.000-07:00

My two year old has taken to carrying broken Cd's along with him- all the time. Sometimes it falls from the case and we have to rush to get it back- otherwise its the end of the line for the kid and an end to our ear drums. Some weird fixation, when will it end and what is it supposed to mean?

Hospital Rounds

2009-07-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

Taking a page from DB's med rants this is a list of conditions I saw during rounds and need to think about carefully-
1.Hyponatremia
2.Pericardial effusion
3.Aspiration Pneumonia
4.Pleural effusion
5.MRSA cellulitis and abscess formation
6.Hypercalcemia
7.Renal cell carcinoma
8. Acute myeloid leukemia chemotherapy complication
9. Renal failure with multiple myeloma
10. Palliative care- patient with metastatic cancer, unknown primary who did not want any investigation.
What a rich source of learning.

Changes, changes, changes...

2009-06-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

I will be doing more hospital medicine soon- two weeks out of every eight weeks. I am going to enjoy the contact and hopefully, the intellectual satisfaction of working with housestaff and medical students; but I wonder what it will do for my access. I am sure I will find out soon enough, but the opportunity to work close to home, at least for a fortnight was too good to pass up.
And talking about acess, all my patients can probably see me the day they would like to see me and that is not the case for my son's pediatrician; I had to wait a month for a well child appointment and it took him about two hours to see my kid and I was more than happy to see the nurse practitioner that was offerred. I cannot believe how much I dislike going to the pediatrician- not very good for my kids.

Control Issues

2009-06-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

My two year old has taken to carrying an old remote with him- all over the place. He even sleeps with it. As he is walking around, he asks me,"you want to watch this?" and clicks. It is as if clicking the remote will change his reality and the way things happen around him.
I can see he would like to control things around him and a remote, to him at least is a good way to go about it- gosh, his father does it all the time!

How the economic crisis affected me today

2009-06-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

My usual, rather hackneyed question to my patient is- "How are you doing today?"
His response was "I just lost my job- I work at the senior center as a driver for the day care center and they let me go, as they have lost so much funding".
My usual second question is "How can I help you?" "Hire me- I am a good jack- of- all trades".
He will be living out of a car with a wife that needs insulin for her diabetes.The insulin needs refrigeration, how will they manage?

Missing a Diagnosis

2009-06-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

My first patient of the day was a young woman who is undergoing chemotherapy for recurrent ovarian cancer. After I had examined her and dealt with the medical issues that I- as a Primary Care doc- needed to take care of, she starts telling me about when she was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It seems like her belly started swelling, so she went to her doctor and told him that she thought something was wrong with her. He said- you really need to exercise- so, she did. Then she started having bloating, felt short of breath as she lay down in bed, she went to him again- again nothing was done. Finally, in desperation, her mother took her to the ER, where she had a ascitic tap and got admitted for further work up.
I asked her - did this physician ever examine you? She says I cannot honestly remember.
Wow! What's happened to us- what do we do with our patients? My take home point is- always examine the patient in the best way you possibly can. Their life depends on it.
Here is a review of ovarian cancer.

songs

2009-05-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

During my seemingly interminable commute, I came upon this hauntingly beautiful song that I have to share with you, its from Bagdad Cafe.
This is just one of those songs that keeps haunting you- makes me want to go to see the movie which is a cult hit, I was told.
Then I went on to listen to Jeff Buckley who is am amazing artist- wish you were here.
A nice, atomospheric sort of weekend for me, but one which makes me ask- am I going through a mid-life crisis?

slumdog and others like it

2009-03-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer- I have not yet seen Slumdog Millionaire.
People have been constantly mentioning Slumdog to me (probably,because I am Indian)- even patients I see in clinic want to know if I have seen the movie,and if I liked it. Most people say they thought it was great. I, obviously, do not know what to think about it. All I tell folks is that it is not really an Indian movie, financed by the French, brought about by a British team but it is Indian in that it was shot on site at Dharavi and it did have an Indian crew.
I am pleased that it makes people think about poverty, which we have plenty of, in India. It brings attention and that is good, just as "Smile Pinki" does. It may make us do more and that is all good.
Amongst the category of Indian films, sort of at least, which are Oscar winners is another documentary called "Born into Brothels". I have seen this one and it is probably one of the more hopeful documentaries/docudramas that I have seen. It made me appreciate the human spirit and not to take things at face value, as all of us sometimes do. See it, if you can.

"Keep calm and carry on"

2009-03-21T16:46:00.001-07:00

I was driving to work one day and I heard this on NPR; it seems there is this poster from the World War 11, which has becomes seriously popular in these diificult times. This really resonated with me at that particular moment- I was driving to the outpatient clinic which is about 25 miles away from the hospital where I had rounded on a few seriously sick people and while on my way, I was called to let me know that my two year old had high fever.
I repeated to myself- keep calm and carry on....it did seem to help a little.
Check this out for the real thing .

men are from mars....

2009-03-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

I feel it diminishes the human being when we talk about the differences in the sexes as being so important.I also think gross generalizations are not useful and do not help us, as people, to do better in our life.
But, this is a rant against the unfairness of life. I was talking to my husband, and just casually mentioned that I told somebody at work that I was really happy I could make it to my son's school for a pizza lunch when he has an early closure. He started off by chiding me...its not good to be so openly personal at work, I really should not be talking so much about my children and especially, going off to see my son when I am doing lunch.
It got me thinking of the ridiculousness of the whole situation, he can talk about his children, even down to discussing how our two year old has been difficult to wean off the breast- that just shows the world that he is a stable, family man while if I do something similar I may be painted as undependable.
I am still seething....

Yoga and Meditation

2008-10-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

For the past two months I have been doing Yoga and Meditation- that was more than four months ago. Since then, I have, as my patients would say- "fallen off the wagon". I did notice I have gained about 10 lbs. Lack of mindfulness- I am chalk my weight gain to. So, I have starting walking/ running 2-3 times a day, re-started yoga, cooking more often, eating more vegetarian food. I have become leaner, but I have miles to go....to think I was 120 lbs once...

What is wrong with health care?

2008-09-13T16:31:00.000-07:00

I have tried very hard not to talk about this- because it always gets me sad and annoyed- but I feel I have to. I was working today-on a Saturday, which is never good (I am a primary care doc- and usually quite proud of it)-everytime I see a patient who,usually has multiple medical problems and is struggling to make this complicated healthcare system work- I think to myself-there has to be better way!
My patients ask my about copays for meds-I am never sure.Charges for blood draws- I do not know. Why is medicine a profit making institution? There has to be a simpler way.Day in and day out,I see people struggle with costs for their health care and I am sure it adds to considerably to their stress. Nothing about the financial aspect of healthcare is transparent.I wish it was'nt so...

A day off

2008-09-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

I had to take my son to the pediatrician's this morning- nothing urgent-just a well child exam, one shot, height and weight. But, going to the doctor's means waiting and waiting....not really sure why. So, the appointment was at 9:30 am, by the time we left, it was 11am. Anyways, luckily I had asked for a day off, so now I am sitting in the local library, typing this and feeling reasonably happy. Time to myself- wonderful.
Work remains to be done at home- more dishes, picking up toys, clothes and getting rid of junkmail- but for now I am left to my own devices. Glorious day.
I should do real work but I do not want to- I want to laze around and do whatever I want to in the next couple hours until I have to pick up my children.
What has really been bothering me is how much housework I have to do in comparison to my husband- life is really unfair- I should have clarified all this before I got hitched. Too late now, after two kids, though- we will just have to plod through, the best we can.

making a paycheck

2008-08-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Back in the workforce-hence, the silence.
It takes some getting used to- I am feeling extremely rushed- drop off the kids- rush to work, hurry from work, pick them up, rustle up some dinner, hopefully healthy, bedtime approaches, make sure the kids get their baths, everything is set up for the next day- lunches and swim trunks and towels, and it begins anew the next day.
what I find really amazing and am rather indignant about is the asymmetry of responsibility. I am going to see if I can do something about it- maybe dear husband can do the drop-off.
Most women go through exactly the same scenario. I feel able to handle it but I wish I had more support.

How to juggle or .....not

2008-07-18T13:17:00.000-07:00

Now that I am ready to enter the workforce, I have started to worry anew about humdrum things like dinner, laundry and housework. How do women do it all? Will I have time to read? On reading- I read a book called The Seventeen Traditions by Ralph Nader who I admire greatly as a consumer advocate. It was an easy read with a view on how a family could be raised. The times were simpler then, but I am sure I can learn a lot from his writing. While on Ralph Nader, a long time ago I saw a PBS film on him, very tellingly called, An Unreasonable Man. In this the election year, it is worthwhile to remember how much his activism has benefited us.
Also, enjoying my last few days of unpaid labor, this afternoon I saw a wonderful documentary called "The First Year" which is about the first year of five teachers in California. I am so in awe of teachers- the great ones leave such a mark on you. They change your life in so many ways and inspire you to be more than what you thought you could be.

A new beginning

2008-07-16T14:25:00.000-07:00

So, I am probably going to go back to work next Monday, which is a fact that is alternately exciting and worrying me. The young kid starts daycare- which is always scary. Last Friday, we tried leaving him at the Y for date night- that did not go down too well- two hours later we got an apologetic phonecall- your kid has been shrieking the whole time, please pick him up. Not a good omen in my book. Well, he will have to get used to it- he will have a better parent for later.
I am especially excited about having a schedule to follow, my own time and my own money..yippee.
Will post later on how things go. It will be interesting- have not had paid work in over six months now.

Children of the universe

2008-07-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

There have been so many interesting things happening with the Mars mission. Everytime my own life gets a little out of control, I like to indulge in a little astronomy- to get my perspective right and to think of all of us as made of the same stardust. Check this out http://www.nasa.gov/externalflash/earthday_gallery/index_noaccess.html
The earth seems so vulnerable...I wish we took better care.....

Being Indian

2008-06-20T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am very aware of where I am from and I am sure it informs almost everything I do. One of those things which always makes me upset is the way we treat women in India and more specifically, the abominable attitude towards the girl child.
Another news story about this http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7466916.stm

children's literature and songs

2008-06-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

One of the better things about being a parent is the renewed exposure to children's books and music- although it still does not compensate for sleepless nights, limited time, no more movie nights, no shopping in peace, career harakiri- the list goes on and on, and I am sure you get my drift.
I am going to list my fave kid's books and songs- feel free to send me your top picks
-Most of Dr Seuss's books
-Folk songs
-Raffi songs
-Rhonda Vincent especially Bananaphone
-Books by Mo Willems
-songs by Keb Mo
-songs by Taj Mahal
As a rule of thumb, I will only play those songs that I can tolerate at least ten re-iterations of- thats how long I will have to listen to it before I lose the CD. I try not to borrow a book that I do not care for- although, it seems I am constantly reading books about stinky trash trucks and other means of tramsportation. I am sure at some point in time I wll get nostalgic about this as well.

Summer solstice

2008-06-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

First day of summer here- in the middle of a heatwave here- but nothing a Kolkata girl can't handle.
Tried looking out for the moon on the 18th- was told it would be a really impressive moonrise- the kids and the location was wrong, so no magnificent moonrise for me. However, check out this link for a wonderful view
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap080620.html
A bit of trivia- this structure has some interesting graffiti- Lord Byron has carved his name on one of the columns.

Worry, worry, worry...

2008-06-18T00:13:00.000-07:00

As I get ready to join the workforce- after a hiatus of five months- here comes this article about the problems of primary care in the US http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/17/health/views/17essa.html?ex=1371355200&en=505c2fbd5bfe4f7f&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
The discontent here is real and in my view is a reflection of the fractured system and the fact that it is, mostly, run like a profit making enterprise. Health is not a commodity.

Nostalgia

2008-06-17T23:37:00.000-07:00

Got to watching food network- again! And this guy Zimmern- who goes about eating some rather bizzare stuff (I think the series is called Bizzare Foods) ends up in Delhi. This episode makes me so nostalgic for some diarrhea inducing pani-puris, some greasy awfully good moghlai dishes, authentic paneer palak and other choice Indian dishes. He even tried some 'mocha' and some banana trunk curry- when will I eat this stuff again.
I cannot believe this sudden hankering- this from a person who cooks very eclectically and rarely something completly Indian. For me, dinner needs to be fixed up in fifteen minutes flat- and very few dishes in Indian cuisine would qualify.
Anyway, here is wishing for some delicious street food soon......

climate change and what we can do about it

2008-04-21T11:05:00.000-07:00

Its really quite essential that we look at our carbon footprint and make our stay on earth as limited in its impact as possible. We, at home, talk about this a lot and it probably bores my five year old a lot; but it is really important to me that I teach him conservation.
To this end this was such an interesting article in the NYT today
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/20/magazine/20wwln-lede-t.html?ex=1366516800&en=4c931d0a068a2a1a&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Job hunt- looking for a job that allows for a family

2008-04-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

I moved recently and now have been looking for a job. My husband's advice is- never, ever mention your family in the interview. That is difficult when you are tied to your daycare schedule.I love what I do- I think Medicine for all its problems gives you an interesting, intense life. You usually get to the nub of a persons existence very quickly, but it is generally assumed that you do have much of a personal life and children are dependents that need constant attention and time.
But one needs to work- for money, for self-fulfillment and identity- so I applied for jobs- permanent and locum and tried to maintain an enthusiastic demeanor. If employers wanted me then all they needed was a warm body to do the job and if they did not want me- it was because I am such a loser. As you can see, there are deep issues here. Anyway, I will be working soon- and full-time, too. I am sure I will talk about how all that is working out and how it affects my family and other animals, like me.

Women in Medicine

2008-04-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

There has been a bit of a storm in a teacup across the pond- concern regarding too many women in Medicine causing staffing issues as women have children!). Lovely, anything that can be held against women usually is. It is difficult to be a physician and add to that the complications of being a mother- but last I checked we- men and women-belonged to the same species. Rather than changing with the times and getting semi-used to the idea of being equal parents and caring for their kids, some men would rather hold women responsible all the housework, childcare and everything that is not going too well in Medicine.

Dual Income- Double trouble?

2008-04-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

We are- like a lot of families we know- usually a dual income family. Having spent a few months last year, after the birth of a new baby, as a stay-at-home mom, I have realized-what I long suspected anyway- that I am a terrible housewife. I am a half decent mother- although I do lose my temper ever so often and I cook nutritious food- although there always seem to be dishes in the sink. Generally speaking, there is always a load of clothes in the drier waiting to be folded- for at least a couple days, if not longer.
I am caught between the quagmire of housework and childcare. A friend talked about housework being like groundhog day- I see what she means. I do not get anytime to enjoy the culmination of my labors, there is always something more.... So, I sit on my couch when my kids are napping finally, get me a cup of tea and read a book- which occasionally happens to be on home organization- much to my dear husbands amusement.
Anyway, I thought I would add a link to this article in the NYT today which expresses what I will be soon feeling- relief at having a paying job but also additional consequences to weigh.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/05/business/yourmoney/05instincts.html?ex=1365134400&en=90320a25b327bff8&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

New town, new anxieties

2008-04-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

Just moved, with two kids, endless useless stuff, downsized to a smaller home, left job and started looking for a new job in this new town. Is that a recipe for stress, angst and terror or what...
Add to that an infant with poor sleeping habits, with a great set of lungs and a natural sloppiness that permeates my life.
This is of course a whiny sad post, just to express how sad and malfunctioning my life is. And just shows what a pathetic person I am to get daunted by all this. I know people go through so much and still remain gracious and kind and I am breaking apart.
But just writing all this makes me get it out of my system- I feel stronger already- better able to cope with all the things that will come my way. Thanks.

First thoughts

2007-07-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

I have had a recent fascination for blogs- since I discovered them about a year ago, I visit them ever so often. My favorites are the ones that talk about health care, Science, Cooking, Travel and Public health- not necessarily in that order.
I have always fancied myself as an author, not with adequate reason and now thanks to the egalitarianism of the web- I can fancy myself as a real author! (the hubris of it all). Maybe now I may just become a writer with a readership greater than one-I will try to read everything that I write.