Yoga and Meditation

For the past two months I have been doing Yoga and Meditation- that was more than four months ago. Since then, I have, as my patients would say- "fallen off the wagon". I did notice I have gained about 10 lbs. Lack of mindfulness- I am chalk my weight gain to. So, I have starting walking/ running 2-3 times a day, re-started yoga, cooking more often, eating more vegetarian food. I have become leaner, but I have miles to go....to think I was 120 lbs once...

What is wrong with health care?

I have tried very hard not to talk about this- because it always gets me sad and annoyed- but I feel I have to. I was working today-on a Saturday, which is never good (I am a primary care doc- and usually quite proud of it)-everytime I see a patient who,usually has multiple medical problems and is struggling to make this complicated healthcare system work- I think to myself-there has to be better way!
My patients ask my about copays for meds-I am never sure.Charges for blood draws- I do not know. Why is medicine a profit making institution? There has to be a simpler way.Day in and day out,I see people struggle with costs for their health care and I am sure it adds to considerably to their stress. Nothing about the financial aspect of healthcare is transparent.I wish it was'nt so...

A day off

I had to take my son to the pediatrician's this morning- nothing urgent-just a well child exam, one shot, height and weight. But, going to the doctor's means waiting and waiting....not really sure why. So, the appointment was at 9:30 am, by the time we left, it was 11am. Anyways, luckily I had asked for a day off, so now I am sitting in the local library, typing this and feeling reasonably happy. Time to myself- wonderful.
Work remains to be done at home- more dishes, picking up toys, clothes and getting rid of junkmail- but for now I am left to my own devices. Glorious day.
I should do real work but I do not want to- I want to laze around and do whatever I want to in the next couple hours until I have to pick up my children.
What has really been bothering me is how much housework I have to do in comparison to my husband- life is really unfair- I should have clarified all this before I got hitched. Too late now, after two kids, though- we will just have to plod through, the best we can.

making a paycheck

Back in the workforce-hence, the silence.
It takes some getting used to- I am feeling extremely rushed- drop off the kids- rush to work, hurry from work, pick them up, rustle up some dinner, hopefully healthy, bedtime approaches, make sure the kids get their baths, everything is set up for the next day- lunches and swim trunks and towels, and it begins anew the next day.
what I find really amazing and am rather indignant about is the asymmetry of responsibility. I am going to see if I can do something about it- maybe dear husband can do the drop-off.
Most women go through exactly the same scenario. I feel able to handle it but I wish I had more support.

How to juggle or .....not

Now that I am ready to enter the workforce, I have started to worry anew about humdrum things like dinner, laundry and housework. How do women do it all? Will I have time to read? On reading- I read a book called The Seventeen Traditions by Ralph Nader who I admire greatly as a consumer advocate. It was an easy read with a view on how a family could be raised. The times were simpler then, but I am sure I can learn a lot from his writing. While on Ralph Nader, a long time ago I saw a PBS film on him, very tellingly called, An Unreasonable Man. In this the election year, it is worthwhile to remember how much his activism has benefited us.
Also, enjoying my last few days of unpaid labor, this afternoon I saw a wonderful documentary called "The First Year" which is about the first year of five teachers in California. I am so in awe of teachers- the great ones leave such a mark on you. They change your life in so many ways and inspire you to be more than what you thought you could be.

A new beginning

So, I am probably going to go back to work next Monday, which is a fact that is alternately exciting and worrying me. The young kid starts daycare- which is always scary. Last Friday, we tried leaving him at the Y for date night- that did not go down too well- two hours later we got an apologetic phonecall- your kid has been shrieking the whole time, please pick him up. Not a good omen in my book. Well, he will have to get used to it- he will have a better parent for later.
I am especially excited about having a schedule to follow, my own time and my own money..yippee.
Will post later on how things go. It will be interesting- have not had paid work in over six months now.

Children of the universe

There have been so many interesting things happening with the Mars mission. Everytime my own life gets a little out of control, I like to indulge in a little astronomy- to get my perspective right and to think of all of us as made of the same stardust. Check this out http://www.nasa.gov/externalflash/earthday_gallery/index_noaccess.html
The earth seems so vulnerable...I wish we took better care.....