Journey back

I returned about a fortnight ago from Kolkata, where I grew up, went to medical school and where my family of origin still lives. It was a difficult trip home, with two kids and a husband in tow, revisiting after the death of my father from complications related to diabetes, while he was only 64. Like most children, I have things that I feel guilty about- not keeping in touch, not being there for my family and feeling that now, I will never get a second chance for a do-over. It was so good to be home, hold my mother who feels so alone now, and talk to my brothers who had to do all the work and go through all the stress of having to take care of a seriously sick parent. Apart from spending time with my family, I enjoyed walking the crowded streets, teeming with people. I drank tea in an earthen ware container, called a 'bhar'; went on a local train, on a ferry, visited Belur Math and Dakhineshwar. Went on a road trip to Gangasagar with the children to say goodbye to my father. My kids, brown and American were freaked out by the crowds and the begging naked children and the younger one who is two, bawled out "Never, ever, ever again".I took this to mean, he was not enjoying the ferry ride.
Inspite of all this and maybe even because of this,it is always good to go back home, especially when you can go back to your usual life soon enough. Calcutta has amazing energy, the streets are crowded, people are milling about, there is no sense of personal space; people jump ahead of you in queue all the time- and so would I if I were there all the time.I went to College Street Coffee House; I visited our 77th medical school reunion, a school that my father also went to. I dragged our kids everywhere. I wonder what my children think of India- I know that they are interested in the language and the music which is great, but what else do they learn? I will find out soon. Hopefully, I will be listening.

Defining moment for our generation

On the anniversary of 9/11, I thought about where I was when the towers fell and it came as if it happened yesterday- I was in clinic as a resident, and it just did not make sense why something like that happened or why it happened. Later, much later that night we went to the local Wendy's because we were just not able to think straight and looked at the people around and wondered what had gone wrong.
I am so glad today is a national day of service what a great way to remember....

I know exactly what he is talking about...

I was just browsing websites today when I came across this article and it really nails the problems with pain mangement. I think, pain management is very challenging and sometimes, I do not get things right- between expectations of patients, limits of the pharmacy coverage and my own biases/ thoughts regarding diagnoses. This gave me permission to say that I am not always going to achieve great pain control for every body that I see with chronic pain. I feel ready to manage therapeutic expectations of both my patients and myself.

Early Monday morning...

I really should be getting to bed- Labor day tomorrow, the kids are at home, I have to be at work, try to keep the apples in the air...but whatever, I am so glad, and greatful that I have a job where I can, and do make a difference, where I am forever learning. Later on today, I will be pleased to be at the hospital and "laboring" on Labor day.
Power to all the working people- the world depends on us!

How to be a part of a community

I recently went to the summer session of ACP at SFO. I have not been to a medical meeting in the past three years, so I really wanted to find out if there is any benefit to going to one of these meetings and as of now, it seems there is a benefit at least to me. I thought medicine through out the two days. For every one of the sessions, even the one on pneumonia ( surprise, surprise) I learnt something. For each of the sessions, I could relate the information to one of my patients.
The other benefit was meeting folks who practice all over, one of my new friends was a lady who is the only internist in her town in Minnesota, her scope of practice is much broader than mine but her problems are similar to mine. It was good to know that I am not alone.
I am so pumped to learn more, practice better and be more enthusiastic in my career choice. As an additional benefit, I met up with an old high school friend that I have not met in over two decades.

My cure for the Healthcare problem

Take profit away from the practice of medicine- it is absolutely unethical to make money off of sick people, I can understand making a living out of caring for people but profit- that is the real crux of the problem.
For a more balanced approach check this out.

My CD, my remote.....

My two year old has taken to carrying broken Cd's along with him- all the time. Sometimes it falls from the case and we have to rush to get it back- otherwise its the end of the line for the kid and an end to our ear drums. Some weird fixation, when will it end and what is it supposed to mean?